More memories... and self inflicted wounds

Pain. Self inflicted pain. 

But all this, surely must have a source?

Oh yes there is a source.

It's my god damn every-day questioning of life and reality,

because obviously I'm somewhat disappointed by all of it, but at the same time, I am desperately searching for these moments that make me feel alive, and add up to the memories that make up "me" and the ones that ill be remembering the day/moment i die. 

Just to have an excuse to feel like i deserved the life i lived.

Sometimes it's bearable, sometimes not.

It seems im obsessed with self inflicted injuries and i want to take it a step further down the line, as my everyday world gets worse.  

Since then, i haven't tried anything, other than burning a cigarette on my hand, in a moment of total ecstasy, and another time... i think I've said enough.

Great, sweet and satisfying pain.

.