The pleasure came precisely from being too cearly aware of my own degradation.

Too many photoshootings lately.
Im gathering material for my upcoming photography exhibition
and im uploading some of these photos to give you a taste of what's coming.
Soon.

Im tired.  Tried some valerian root tea this afternoon.
Two hours later i was sleeping like a baby.
It is pretty effective i gotta tell ya.

 .

 

"There have been times when if somebody had given me a punch in the face, i might even have been glad of it.
I am speaking seriously: I should certainly have known how to find pleasure in it,
the pleasure, of course, of despair,  but despair can hold the most intense sorts of pleasure
when one is strongly concious of the hopelessness of one's position."

Dostoyevsky.

How i adore this man. He and i have this in common. Finding pleasure in pain. :-)

Some days ago, we had a boxing session on the rooftop of the building where i live
(usually we have kung fu training there, a very good friend of mine is teaching me)
And i received a nicely executed punch in the face (actually there were several but this one was worth the pain)
the former boxing champion of France that showed us how to fight, stopped and asked if i was allright.
"Yeah, i liked it" was my immediate answer.

It's weird. I have been like this for 3 or 4 years now.
Always on the look out for someone who's glad to fight me...
I wonder if it's really a problem, psychological or something like that.

I wonder.

I wonder if Dostoyevsky and Hemmingway were alive now, and i met them at some alley.

That would've been fun.